Crispy On All Sides

So I was talking to an overwhelmed mom today. How do you take care of yourself when you are juggling a thousand balls? 

So many of my days feel like a caravan of demands and activity. You know what I'm talking about. From the moment your eyes open, you have a catalog of tasks that must be completed. In the midst of caring for other people, getting ready and out the door, expending energy at a job, and the myriad of other life tasks, running from the butcher to the baker to the candlestick maker, where are you supposed to care for yourself?

Have you ever watched the rotisserie chickens turning in the window at the grocery store?

Round and round. Constantly turned over. Heat on every side. By the end of the day, they are crispy on all sides.

Some days, that is exactly how I feel. Cooked.

Every part of my life got turned toward the heat. Work got a turn. The kids got a turn. The house, the errands, the inbox, the people who needed something from me right now. Everything got cooked evenly, and somehow nothing got what it really needed. I did so much but...there is still laundry piling up. My ambitions to plan weekly meals are still an ambition. And to top it all off, I went to change the roll of toilet paper and it was the last roll. I was just at the store! And I am cooked. 

That is the thing about the spit: it doesn’t stop to ask which side needs attention. In my heart, I knew certain areas needed something specific. My marriage needed a real conversation. My body needed rest. My soul needed quiet time with God. Maybe I did need to cancel a few non-essential commitments to catch up on household needs. But the spit just kept turning.

And then the guilt shows up right on schedule.

Guilt that you didn’t make the healthy lunch. Guilt that dinner came from a drive-through. Guilt that you snapped at your kids, skipped the workout, or ate the cookies standing at the counter. Guilt that you are not balancing it all the way you think a good mom, a good wife, or a good Christian should.

Today’s lesson is not about turning faster. If you did then nothing would get cooked at all!  I will give you a primary principle to implement this week, but first, I want you to think about a time you felt like you were on the spit.

Pulled in a million directions. So many things to do. Not enough of you to go around. Overwhelmed.

Maybe it was this morning, trying to get everyone fed and out the door. Maybe it was the week a deadline, a sick kid, and a family need all landed at once. Maybe it is simply your everyday. I get it my love, this was my every day for so long. 

So, hold that moment in your mind for a second. Picture it. Allow yourself to feel it. 

Now, let’s just take a moment to bring awareness to your body.

Where is there tightness? How do your muscles feel? How does your breathing feel?

For me, the tightness is in my shoulders, and there is a lump in my throat.

The reason it is so important for me to acknowledge this, and for you to learn the symptoms of overwhelm in your body, is because they are signs that your body is slipping into survival mode: fight, flight, or freeze.

In our bodies, there are just two modes of living. Rest and repair mode, or survival mode. There is no half and half. It is on or off.

Survival mode is the spit. And no one heals on the spit.

Research shows us how much stress impacts our health. Cortisol makes it harder to burn fat. Stress disrupts our sleep, contracts our muscles, makes our breathing shallow, feeds different bacteria in our gut, and has a whole host of long-term, downstream effects on every area of our bodies. 

Thank you world of research..But here is a much better reason to make a change: you will enjoy your life more if you learn to shift from survival mode into safety mode. 

And- survival mode is where guilt often sneaks in.

When I’m surviving, I don’t feel like I have the capacity to make vegetables and salmon for lunch… in fact, I don’t want that crap. I want “a treat.”

Can you relate?

That is not a character flaw. That is biology. A body that believes it is under threat wants quick comfort, quick energy, and quick relief, and it wants it now.

So we grab the treat. Then we feel guilty about the treat. Guilt is just one more turn of the spit, so our bodies sink even deeper into survival mode. And from there, the next treat looks even better. We already messed up, so the whole day is a wash when it comes to our health. You broke your rule about being healthier, and now you feel guilt which, let's be clear is not a beneficial emotion for your transformation.

Guilt does not get us off the spit. It keeps us turning.

But what if, before we reach for that treat, we dealt with our nervous system’s needs and patterns?

What if the craving is not really about the treat at all? What if it is an indicator that your body needs to feel safe?

In seasons of high physical and emotional demand, minors become majors. Sometimes what I really need is to hydrate better. Sometimes I need a nap. Sometimes I need to walk instead of run. 

You were never meant to live on the spit.

God is not standing over your kitchen counter with a clipboard. Romans 8:1 says, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” No condemnation for the drive-through. No condemnation for the cookie. No condemnation for feeling crispy on all sides.

Psalm 103 tells us that the Lord has compassion on His children, for He knows how we are formed. He remembers that we are dust. He made your body. He knows its limits better than you do. And unlike the spit, He sees the specific places in your heart that need His attention, and He tends to them with care.

Guilt says, “Keep turning. You should have done better.” Grace says, “Come off the heat. Let Me take care of you.”

So let your body be an indicator, not a verdict. When the craving hits, get curious instead of condemning. Ask what you actually need. And let that next choice come from a place of safety, not shame. Today, instead of shaming yourself from all the ways you feel guilty, take a step in curbing that pattern. God can lead you from the spit of guilt and shame, and he will fill your heart and mind with more grace and peace than you can comprehend. Let's start with just simple awareness of what our body is indicating about our thought patterns. 

He will lift you from the spit- take a deep breath and trust him in this journey. 

This Week's Implementations:

This week, let the chicken be the one on the spit.

Pick up a rotisserie chicken and a bagged salad (add a quick bag of rice or quinoa if you like) and let that be dinner. Let it be enough.

This is not an act of perfection. It is a practice in choosing the simple option that is good enough.

And when you sit down to eat it, notice if guilt tries to pull up a chair. If you hear “a good mom would have cooked from scratch,” pause. "I wish I had more time to...", pause.  "One meal won't erase what you ate at..", pause. Take a slow breath, drop your shoulders, and remind yourself: there is no condemnation here.

Then, use the time you didn’t spend cooking to give one area of your heart the specific attention it has been asking for. 

A Prayer:

God, I feel cooked. I have been turning and turning, and I am tired. Thank You that there is no condemnation for me in Christ. Show me the places in my heart that need Your attention, and help me care for my body without shame. Lift me off the spit and lead me into the rest You made me for. Start this journey into freedom with me, today. I trust you will answer this prayer and lead me in a new, fresh path that fuels my soul. 

Journal prompts:

• Where in my life do I feel “crispy on all sides”? What keeps my spit turning?
• What specific area of my heart or life has been asking for attention that it hasn’t gotten?
• Where do I feel overwhelm in my body, and what do I reach for when I am in survival mode?
• What do I feel guilty about most often when it comes to food, rest, or caring for my family? Whose voice does that guilt sound like?
• What would it look like to let “good enough” be enough this week?